Premier League Match 23 - Chelsea 0 Southampton 1

 

Ruben: Cool as F**k

What a week. With Nathan Jones put out of his misery on Sunday morning, it was widely accepted that Ruben Selles would be running the side against Chelsea and there would be no drama this week.  As it happened however, it was anything but quiet as it looked like a deal was agreed with Jesse Marsch and all that needed to happen was for him to rock up on Wednesday and sign the deal but for whatever reason, it didn’t happen.  Depending on who you talk to, we either dodged a bullet or we missed out.  The way I feel about it is that I had got my head round the fact that he was coming and was quite positive about it but now it’s fallen through and I’m kind of shrugging my shoulders, not giving a shit and just waiting for what’s next. To be honest, it’s got Ruben Selles for the rest of the season written all over it.

Personally, I don’t really have a problem with that. If it was October then I would have a problem with it because there is still a massive amount of the season to go. We tried to replace Ralph with a permanent manager in the shape of Jones and it was a total fucking clusterfuck, so much so that whoever comes next cannot be worse and they will not get blamed. The blame will be on Nathan Jones and on Sport Republic.  The saga with Jesse Marsch has reflect badly on Sport Republic again, whether it was their fault or not and it’s interesting to see Rasmus Ankersen coming under a bit of flak. 

When Sport Republic arrived, the word was that they were going to carry on in the background and let Martin Semmens run the club in the same way that he had been doing before but it’s clear now that Rasmus has taken a more front and central role and what happens when you do that is that you become responsible when things go wrong and you have to take shit as it’s thrown at you. I somehow get the feeling that Rasmus hasn’t had to deal with that so far.  The question regarding Rasmus is, what has he got when data doesn’t work?

Also, receiving shit on a daily basis is Graham Potter, who left a nice cushy job at Brighton to take over the Chelsea hot seat. It’s not as hot as it used to be because under the previous owner Roman Abramovich, he would undoubtedly have been fired by now. Maybe because Vladimir Putin isn’t paying the bills anymore, they have to think a bit before firing the manager. Only joking, Chelsea aren’t exactly shy at spending a pretty penny with something like £600 million having been spent since the arrival of Todd Boehly as the new overlord. There always seems to be something not terribly ethical about the way Chelsea do things and they have quite openly ducked under FFP rules by giving all their new signings eight year contracts which basically means the cost to spread out over those eight years and amortisation comes into play so if you sign a player for £80 million on an eight year contract, then only £10 million a year is going towards your FFP spend. It’s a loophole and of course, not what FFP was designed for.  The loophole is going to be closed but Chelsea seem almost triumphant that they’ve fucked everybody over with it. The story was building up quite a bit of traction until Manchester City‘s alleged financial doping became front-page news.

The bottom line is that Chelsea have got a ridiculously expensive squad that was pretty decent already and it’s now been supplemented by the likes of Argentinian World Cup winner Enzo Fernandez, João Félix, Noni Madueke and Mykhailo Mudryk. These players are all huge names with huge reputations but it’s still to be seen whether Potter or anyone else can make a team out of them.

Chelsea are of course one of only four teams we have beaten this season so it will be unlikely double this afternoon if we can pull it off.  Ruben was put in front of the press on Friday and what a breath of fresh air that was. Nothing but positivity and belief both in himself and the club.  I love the fact that he said straight off the bat that he wanted the job permanently and felt that he was ready. On the face of it that’s a dangerous thing to say when you’re trying to get a tune out of what has been a shitshow from start to finish this season but it’s a massive statement to say I can do this job and I can keep us up. Let’s see.

I made a promise to myself that I wasn’t going get annoyed when I saw the line-up.  The first jarring name was Bednarek but then I noticed that Salisu was neither in the team or the squad so there was clearly an injury there.  Elyounoussi‘s name was not one particularly wanted to see but I can kind of understand it in an away game against one of the big clubs. There was a welcome return for Stuart Armstrong to the starting 11 and with KWP on the bench presumably not at 100% there was a start a right back for Ainsley Maitland Niles, in what is undoubtedly his best position.

There was undoubtably some interesting names not included in the 18. The Croatians were both absent which is interesting and sparks a conversation about exactly what was going on. There was also no place in the squad for James Bree, Sam Edozie or Joe Aribo.

Chelsea’s line-up was full of ridiculously expensive players but Mason Mount still gets a game. Ah look, Mount has his own banner in the crowd. Mason Mount, the boy who had a dream. Get to fuck you Skate Bastard.  Hardly John Terry- Captain, Leader, Legend is it?  Maybe ‘The Boy who hasn’t played well for a couple of years’.

Away we go and it looks like a 4-4-2 formation for us in a bit of a throwback to the Ralph days with Elyounoussi left and Stuart Armstrong on the right.  Saints have an early chance on three minutes as Bednarek and Maitland-Niles play out from the back with a ball finding JWP in the middle and his first time ping over the top of the defence gives Sulemana a chance to run and Badiashille makes a complete bollocks of it and allows Sulemana get ahead of him.   His shot is blocked well by Kepa and Stuart Armstrong hits the rebound from 30 yards and it’s kicked off the line. Decent effort, decent start.

The next time we win the ball it goes out to Tall Paul on the left and Koulibaly comes stamping in with a tackle, brushes the ball and catches Paul on the thigh.  This could well be a red card but it’s David Coote so it’s a yellow… for fuck‘s sake, how fucking high is that?

Teamwork is beating individualism at the moment and there’s another half chance when JWP intercepts on the left hand side and after Elyounoussi has run into a dead end in recycled it, JWP whips in across towards Tall Paul who has pulled onto Chilwell and he gets up above the left back and Badiashille and plants his header back the way it came and it drops just wide of the post.

The inevitable Chelsea threat comes when Perraud gives the ball away on our left to Madueke, who takes off before hitting a low shot which Baz shovels round for a corner.  ABK goes into the book for blocking a Fofana break and then Mason Mount does similar to Lavia and gets nothing.  David Coote ladies and gentlemen.

A feature of our play is the ball up to Tall Paul which he rather expertly is chesting down whilst holding off defenders before laying off.   Chelsea meanwhile, play some nice stuff to get through on the right hand side Azpilicueta drills into the side netting.


It's Happened Again

As half-time approaches we’re still just about the better side and Stuart Armstrong picks up the ball and runs from right to left before being upended by Azpilicueta on the edge of the box in prime JWP territory. Happy days, here we go.  It is remarkable how teams react when they give us a free kick in this area with players holding their heads and all sorts. With good reason of course as up steps JWP, up and over the wall and spearing down into the bottom corner before Kepa can get across. 1-0, get the fuck in.

Half-time – we can fucking do this.  Chelsea will undoubtedly bring on millions from the bench but if we keep our shape and some threat on the break, we can do this.  In the event there’s just make a couple of changes at half-time with Raheem Sterling and Wesley Fofana (£130 million between them) coming on to replace the other Fofana and Koulibaly (£40 million between them) – so a £90 million upgrade, divided by 25 years with amortisation…. Equals the FFP limit minus a tenner.

No alarms in the first quarter of an hour after half time and it’s time for Ruben Selles to make his first subs and off come all the forwards with Tall Paul, Sulemana and Stuart Armstrong off for Mara, Adam Armstrong and Walcott.
  Hmmm.. clearly giving up on scoring a second goal and just upping the energy in the press.  I’d have left Tall Paul on for sure.

Anyway, Havertz at £72 million comes or not long after and is immediately involved as Sterling picks him out on the right hand side and he returns the ball back to Sterling on the penalty spot he looks like he has to score but he reckons without Maitland-Niles throwing himself in the way.

More pressure as Badiashille volleys one down the left-hand side and Havertz knocks ABK over and his cross picks out Sterling at the back post and again he has to score as he heads it past Bazunu but Perraud has got back on the line to block it and as Sterling has another go, Lavia gets to him and it flicks off of Romeo and over the bar.  Big fist-pumping celebration things going on.  It’s great.  We ain’t letting this go today.


Yep, That's a High Boot

AMN plays a 1-2 with Walcott as we build up down the right and Walcott’s cross is met by Adam Armstrong but Kepa gets there at exactly the same time and it goes off for a corner.  JWP’s corner is headed out and back in and Mara takes off to try a scissor kick but succeeds only in booting Azpilicueta flush in the face.  Fuck, that’s a bad one. 10 minutes go by with Azpilicueta on the deck but he seems to be okay as he goes off on a stretcher. In amongst it all, David Coote has waved a yellow card at the clearly shaken Mara whilst Stamford Bridge yells for a red which to be honest, I’m surprised he doesn’t get.

£85 million Mudryk come on with Havertz and hasn’t been involved as yet and his first involvement is to knock the ball past Theo Walcott and then dive like a motherfucker to win a free kick on the left-hand edge of the penalty area as Chelsea look at it.  Joao Felix curls it goalwards predictably and Baz punches it away and Havertz picks up and gives the ball to Gallagher who bundles past ABK and shoots but Baz sticks out of strong arm to knock it away. From that, straight down the right-hand side with Walcott switching play to the left and putting Mara through but just as he looks like he’s going to burn off the last defender and have a shot at goal, in comes the tackle and the chance goes.  Can you imagine the Chelsea fume if he had scored?

90 gone, 12 to go for fucks sake.

Every minute in extra time feels like about five but they tick by without too many alarms until Chelsea win a corner on the right hand side which is slung into the mixer by Gallagher, headed out and Mudryk connects on the volley and it flies about a yard wide whilst we collectively shite ourselves.  I’m sure Todd expects him to get it on target for £85 million.  David Coote blows up.



Tall Paul Takes Everyone On At the Same Time

What a fucking win that is. Any win against one of the Super League Six is something to be celebrated massively but being bottom of the league, with a new manager, against a team of spent £600 million in the recent past, at their home ground - fucking inject it.

There were two sides to this performance.  The first half and the start of the second was about of being in their face and forcing them into mistakes and we did that superbly through the energy in midfield and upfront. The front two of Paul Onuachu and Kamaldeen Sulemana were a constant threat with their combination of power and pace, ably supported by Stuart Armstrong form the right.  I did have a bit of a sharp intake of breath when the first substitutions were made. Tall Paul is obviously our most physical player up front, Sulemana is obviously our quickest and most dynamic and Stuart Armstrong is probably our most intelligent and take them all off at once seemed a hell of a risk. but Adam Armstrong, Sekou Mara and Theo Walcott continued the hard work but obviously without the goal threat that the original three posed in the first half.  Ultimately, the end justifies the means.

Then the attention switched to the defence with AMN being superb at right back, ABK providing that a bit of insurance that pace at the back provides and Romain Perraud, of course cleared the Sterling effort off the line and celebrated like he’d just won the World Cup. Then there was Janny B, who I’m sure would not have played if Salisu was fit but he did all that was asked of him. In a back four he’s not so bad because he has to take responsibility.

Then we have the midfield.  Of course, we had a JWP free-kick and his normal work ethic around the park but the highlight for me was Romeo Lavia bossing that area against Enzo Fernandez. This is a 19-year-old kid playing against £105 million World Cup winner. Still, Enzo has the duration of his eight-year contract to try and get his own back.

Tall Paul in particular had a really good first half with his physical presence drawing fouls and on another day, Koulibaly woould’ve been sent off. When you can stamp on the blokes thigh and the guy is stood up and he’s 6 foot 7, that kinda tells you how high the challenge was. The referee however was David Coote who is not one of the ones you want when you referee when you play against one of the big clubs. However, he could also have deemed Sekou Mara’s attempted overhead kick as dangerous and sent him off for that as that was definitely high.

With today’s result and the Jesse Marsch fiasco during the week, I can’t see any way that we won’t appoint Ruben Selles for the rest of the season. He’s won his first game at Stamford Bridge and he actually wants the job, Press conferences were good and the players clearly want him to get the job. The key thing though is that he wants the job and he believes that he can get us out of the mess that we are in.

There’s not going to be any decent long-term bet managers who want the job at this moment in time because of where we are in the league and the relatively few games that are left and they won’t believe that they can get us out of it which is why they won’t take the job.

It will be interesting to see how Selles sets up for a home game where of course, our record is absolutely abysmal. I would imagine the likes of Charly Alcaraz for example, will more than likely feature in games where there is more of an onus on us to attack.

We did a job on Chelsea today. We were a team and they were a bunch of very expensive individuals. It is amusing in the extreme that they have spent the thick end of £600 million and can’t beat the bottom of the league Southampton at home. It just goes to show but no matter how much money you spend and how many FFP rules you take the piss out of, it’s still 11 against 11 and the best team will win. Thanks to Ruben Selles and the boys, we were the best team today but now we have to back it up and be the best team away at Leeds next week.

If we can win that one then I might start to believe that we have a chance of staying up. Today is a massive step in the right direction but we have achieved nothing yet.

Get the Fuck Over There and Keep Going

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